in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
