If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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