Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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