so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
