do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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