For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
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He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
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I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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