He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize