Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
