am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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