heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
