what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
