But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
