Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
