mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize