I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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