I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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