Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
