Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
