And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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