Will you blow on my dice?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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