I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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