every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize