whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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