i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
wow bdsm is so cute
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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