Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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