3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
