Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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