I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
