I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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