This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
