i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
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