I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
this beer tastes like vomit already
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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