I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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