its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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