Kiss
Puke
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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