And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Sorry about my life...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
