somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
did i walk over a car last night?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
