The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
