In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
