too bad you live with your parents still
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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