Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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