Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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