I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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