I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
