you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
