Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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