What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
