I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize