I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize