I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize