you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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