Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize