Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he puts the penis in happiness.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
be right there i have to get my cape
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
