So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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