Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize