TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
