My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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