I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Shame - the story of my life.
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