he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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