I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
