that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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