5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
