The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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